If one stops to see, one discovers that the only thing that actually matters is how one feels.

In the past I spent a lot of time thinking and analyzing situations, to understand if they seemed correct and logical or if they needed improvement or change. Feelings were secondary, my first reaction used to be purely intellectual, based on my ideas and conception of how things ought to be. But none of these configurations really changed the way I felt inside, for it turned out, that actual feelings cannot be expressed in terms of intellectual analysis, it can only feel right or not so right.

As my awareness expanded, I began to feel more than I had felt before, because my feelings were not coming from a limited sense of what I was, but from an awareness of how everything was, and how everything made everyone feel.

How to feel better? Once I discovered that my feelings were coming from an expanding awareness of all situations, to feel better, it meant to improve all situations. Any situation that was within my field of consciousness became an input into how I felt. There was no boundary between so-called my situation and someone else's situation because they were all situations that together created the human situation. My situation was not separate from the human situation, it was a part of it, and indeed an integral part of it.

On the path to discovering my own true nature and to realize myself as awareness, indeed an expanding awareness that has no limits, one that is infinite, I discovered that my search for meaning and purpose had come to an end. Everything that was included in my awareness was clearly being felt by me, as me. I discovered myself, first as the experience of myself, to be these feelings, all these feelings that arose from all these things and situations, as they arose from within my awareness, and then as the awareness itself.

To feel better, and to understand the meaning of all of this, to understand my purpose in all of this, to feel like I could make an impact in all of this, I really had to act on all of me. I discovered that I couldn't just act on a limited part of what I felt or knew, I had to address everything that I felt and knew. Nothing could be left inside untouched, whether in the subconscious or the unconscious, everything had to be out in the open, in the open awareness that I discovered myself to be. There was no lying there, there was no hiding there, I had to address everything that was me, everything that was in my awareness.

When I discovered that everything was me, and all my feelings come from everything, it was then that my place in this totality became clear. To feel better, to bring harmony and peace to myself, I had to bring harmony and peace to all things. I realized I could offer joy where I could, not just for the limited me, which no longer gave me any satisfaction, for I had discovered its meaninglessness, but for anyone and everyone in my field of consciousness, for that was the real me, the everyone and everything that was felt to be me.

Thus began my journey of interconnection, because connection is meaning, and when I connected with someone and improved their situation even just a little bit, I experienced joy and peace, perhaps even more than they did. Though the words of gratitude came, they had no meaning any longer, for words and intellectual concepts of me and them, or someone getting help, or me helping them, these ideas no longer had any role to play.

I discovered that actually feeling real joy, real peace, real satisfaction, this was within my own reach, within my very own self. Indeed this had been true all along, and I had only to realize what I was.

This journey, this discovery of the self, the truth about one’s own nature, this journey is available to anyone. What is needed is dissatisfaction. Real dissatisfaction arises only when the truth that satisfaction is not to be found in any situation or any object or any person, only when this become clear that true dissatisfaction arises.

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